I Won't Say I'm in Love
by Keza22
Summary: Risa Harada is 16 now and is still trying to let go of Dark. She promised herself that she would be a hardworking her new school and live for her studies  but it's not quite that easy when Satoshi Hiwatari returns to Azumano... a SatoshixRisa fic.


_Disclaimer: I do not own DNAngel. _

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The rain outside was never once ceasing as the small figure of a sad, darkly-dressed, brunette young girl stared out of her bedroom window with much pain in her eyes. It seemed to have gone on for weeks; never resting. As if the sky itself was crying. That same sound of rain and hail had been the cause of the girl's sleepless nights for a long time but not once did she wish for peace - in her mind, if the sky needed to cry, then it must. Everyone needs to cry. Especially when they've lost someone important. Well, in the sky's case, the world in which it hung over had just suffered the loss of a very special person... someone that the little girl had never had the pleasure to meet, though it would have cleared alot of confusion for her if she had.

The bedroom in which she sat was big, grey, and altogether a dull room - or prehaps it just seemed that way, maybe it was mourning along with the clouds. Sitting in an empty room... with an empty heart. And the little lady couldn't put her finger on why but, suddenly the fact that her house was in fact a mansion, full of paintings and various furnishings, added to the lifelessness of the scene. Who was this person who's life had been taken? And how was it taken? Was she killed? The little girl trembled at this thought and so left it alone.

"Lady Risa!" The girl heard the maid call, along with a rather sharp tap on the door. She let herself into the child's bedroom, and when she saw the gloomy expression that Risa wore on her face, she sighed. "I see that you are dressed already. I came to remind you, but I think that should be no longer needed. Let me fix your hair though, remember that it needs to be fit for the funeral and your mother shall not wait. Sit yourself in front of the mirror now, there's a good girl."

"Remind me, please..." Risa began as she placed herself infront of the mirror on her dressing table. "Why are we going to the funeral...? Who is it for?"

This caused a silence and the maid paused for a while before continuing to pull and tug her little mistress's hair into place. "It is for Rio Hikari. She was a work associate of your father's..." she explained. "Now. You must be on your best beha-"

"What does it mean for me to go then? My father and everything surrounding him have nothing to do with me or my sister anymore," Risa snapped, selfishly, as if forgetting the reason why they were being summoned to the church in the first place. "That was his choice. He doesn't want see me there. And I don't want to have to see him, either."

"Lady Risa, your mother knew this woman too - they grew up in the same place. Therefore, even though she was not friends with Miss Hikari, she has every right to say her last goodbyes and to pay her respects to the poor young lady. Little more than twenty four, bless her. It is such a shame, and that is what makes it even more important for her to have lots of support as she passes on."

Risa failed to understand this, but let her servant carry on with doing her hair without another word. Twenty four... only twenty years older than Risa herself. It was truely shocking to hear, there was no denying that. But something inside her just wanted to get over with the service quickly so that she wouldn't have to see her father, who had recently split up with her mother and taken her twin sister and dearest friend Riku with him. At least the funeral meant a reunion for the twins, but it also meant a rather unhappy reunion for her two parents.

Once they had arrived at the funeral, Risa's mother began searching for her husband and other daughter.

"You wait right here, I'll be back with Riku..." She told Risa as she began to make her way towards the church doors, leaving Risa all alone in the pouring rain with just her, smart, black unbrella to comfort and protect her from the dark, dreery atmosphere. All around her were the faces of strangers. Tall, dark, scary strangers - she thought - people who weren't moved by the situation at all, their expressions blank and free of care. But she did notice a boy who looked around sixteen who just wouldn't stop crying. This boy had dark hair and glasses, dressed in black like everyone else.

"Hiwatari-kun! Please!" Risa heard an older lady whisper to him who was seemingly annoyed by this display of emotion. "Save your tears for later. The service has not even started yet, and people just need some time to mourn for her in silence right now!"

"I-I j-just can't s-s-stop crying! The tears... w-wont stop c-coming..." The young man sniffed, as if he were Risa's age. The lady who stood beside him looked ashamed and hit him in a desperate attempt to silence him. How was this boy connected to the lady they were remembering on that day...? It seemed as though he was close to her at some point, but a little too old to be her son.

When Risa had heard enough of his sniffeling, she advanced to the church gardens, away from everyone else. Caught up in her curiosity, she glanced gingerly up at the graveyard that lay just over the hedge from where she stood. What a dark and lonely place. Whoever could possibly wish to be laid to rest in such an utterly cheerless abode? Not her. But as she examined it further, she noticed a small boy wondering it's pathways. She couldn't see him very well through the thick fog that surrounded them both, but she was pretty sure that she could make out his scruffy blue hair and smart black clothes (which lead her to assume that he was involved in the funeral too). His face was pure yet at the same time, very pale and sad. But that's what made it beautiful.

Risa could have stared at this perfect looking boy forever, but after a few seconds he turned around to look back at her. His eyes... they were the most enchanting things about him, Risa thought. Big, wide and blue - as if, before that funeral they had never seen sadness. All the same, the look in them at that moment was a look of heartbreak and a sort of lost feeling.

... Little did Risa know, that he would be the boy who still haunted her memories and hung in her mind twelve years later. That mysterious blue-haired boy, who she had never seen again after that day... or had she?

* * *

"Ohayo, Harada-san!" Risa's friend Daisuke greeted her with after school. It had been a hard day... her first day at high school (Or 'sixth form'.) It was hard trying to get to know so many new faces... Risa had been so popular in her old school, but there was too much competition in this one. Despite all of these things for her to think about, she politely turned her attention to Daisuke. He was her best friend, and sister's boyfriend afterall.

"Hiya, Niwa!" She replied. "Why do you look so excited? Has Riku invited you round again?"

To this, he blushed a little. But not once did he wait to try to cover it up. "No, no! Risa!" His hands were on her shoulders now, as if he was too excited to control himself. "It's Hiwatari-kun! He's in my new class! Do you remember him leaving school before? I can't believe he's back! He's really back and I--"

"Hiwatari... Satoshi?" Risa inquired, absent-mindedly. Satoshi...? It couldn't be. Not the one she used to know from middle school - he would never come into the school atmosphere again. It didn't suit him one bit - the Satoshi she knew was way to intelligent for school. So what buisness would he have coming back...?

"What do you mean 'Hiwatari Satoshi...?' ??!! He was our friend--"

"Our friend...?" Risa grunted. "Pfft, yours maybe, but he hardly spoke to me. But come on, out with it! Is Satoshi the Hiwatari you're talking so fondly about?"

"Yes!! And I asked him to come to my place tonight - we're having a reunion party to celebrate! Riku's coming - what about you?" Daisuke asked. Risa cast a guilty glance down at the thousands of homework assignments that she had in her arms. _Is it really worth going to...? _She asked herself; _I've got so much work to get done and if I don't do it tonight, I'll have to go to the school library first thing in the morning... _Although she was now a dedicated student, she couldn't help but feel excited about this unexpected re-appearence.

"I'll come. But only if you're sure that Riku is going too."

"What? Are you shy, Harada-san?" Daisuke laughed, with a wink. She was about to protest, when he continued with; "Nah, I understand. I was shy too. He has changed quite a bit - not his personality, mind - but he looks much more mature and grown up. You'll be suprised in how much a year and a half has changed him, Harada-san."

"What time is this party, then...?" She asked, her cheeks a little red at the thought of a more grown-up looking Satoshi.

"Six. You'll need to go home, wash your hair and get dressed in some nice clothes, I assume."

"Don't be silly!!" She snapped. "I'm past flirting!! I don't need to dress myself up for some stubborn, glasses guy!"

"Hey, you're kinda stubborn too. And he isn't wearing glasses today...-"

"You get my point!! In fact, I'm coming home with you right now, to your house I mean!" Risa insisted. _No glasses today? Oh no... I really shouldn't go. I don't want to find myself speechless over him like I did last time I saw him without glasses. So embarrassing! Just because I find him irresistably hot looks wise when he doesn't wear glasses, it doesn't mean that I like him or respect him as a person in the slightest! This isn't good!_

"Sure you can, but Hiwatari-kun will be walking with us. He's waiting for me by the school gate..." Daisuke told her.

_I don't think I can do this... _She took in a deep breath and nodded. "I'll still come... only, you do the talking... okay?" It was obious, from Risa's tone of voice, that she couldn't wait to meet her old classmate. But seeing that she was nervous, Daisuke gently took her hand and walked along side her.

"Of course I will, Harada-san. I'm glad that you want to walk with us..."

Her grip tightened on his hand and she smiled up at him. "Thankyou for being so understanding, Niwa-kun..."

As they approached the gate, Risa could just about see a tall boy who's blue hair had been picked up by the wind. She really hadn't realised how much she had missed him until that moment. _Satoshi... _"Hiwatari-kun!" She cried out, letting go of Daisuke and running towards him. He turned around with widened eyes and a general look of suprise on his face. She froze in her tracks once she could see him properly. His eyes were as deep blue as ever, though they had a whole new look in them and he was wearing a black shirt which showed off his mature, slim figure. He really had changed...

Once he had fully noticed her, he looked confused. "Who are you...?" He grunted, rather rudely. Risa tried to smile, but she couldn't. She could only force a very fake-looking one. _Uh!! He doesn't remember me!? That's typical though, I guess..._

"Why, Hiwatari-kun... it's... me. It's Harada-san."

He looked suddenly shocked and he frowned at her. "Harada Risa-san, hm? You don't look like Harada-san..."

She was so angry, that she could have hit him. "Well, it's me! Sure, I've changed a little but... I presumed that you would reconise me... no such luck."

"No, it's just that you've..." His eyes wandered down her curvy, femanine figure as he tried to see how this young lady could be the little Risa he knew from middle school. When he saw her uncomfortable expression, he smirked and put his hands in his pockets, casually, then spoke in his usual blunt tone. "Well, Harada-san. You've changed."

"You too," She said, her anger still lingering. "Erm... but could you look up at my face, rather than staring at my chest?"

He sensed the stress and embarrassment in her voice and replied with; "I can look at your chest as much as I please, it's just like you staring at my eyes. That may irritate me, but--"

"Hmph. Well I'm sorry, but you're looking at my chest like you want to see me in my underwear!" She growled, putting a hand on her hip.

_Yep, that's Harada-san alright... _"I do," He said bluntly, being honest with her. He was always... well, a little too honest for Risa's liking. "Don't take it the wrong way, I could never _love _a girl like you, but at the end of the day, I'm still a sixteen year old boy... and your chest is--" Risa's glare cut his sentence short - she did not wish to hear anymore. Without intending to, he'd just made things extremley awkward and tense between him and Risa for the rest of the journey home.

_How dare he...?! _She thought once Daisuke had joined them and they were on their way to his place. _What kind of a greeting was that? I always knew that he was cruel, but a pervert too?! Although I guess all boys are like that... _she let out a sigh and drew and caught the attention of the two boys who were walking with her.

"Hm? Is something wrong, Miss Risa?" Daisuke asked.

Risa ignored him and just gave a quick glance at Satoshi before looking away. _Though I can't stop looking at him either. He's so handsome... he just... well, thats the only thing I like about him. How could we possibly be friends? _"Risa."

She was suddenly brought out of her world of thoughts by Satoshi's voice. "What? Can't you leave me alone?! I was trying to think! And how rude of you to call me by my first name without even a 'miss' or 'lady'!!"

"I can see that you two have been getting along well!" Daisuke joked whilst relieving Risa of her schoolbag. "Hiwatari-kun, please be curtious to Miss Risa. She's not the same as before, and I think you'll find that you actually have quite a bit of new found respect for her now. She's a strong young lady, you can be sure of that."

As if he was holding a grudge against her, he raised his head and didn't give a word of reply. Thus it was silent until they got to the Niwa household. Daisuke's house was warm, snug - a real family atmosphere, and everything that a young man like Daisuke could ever wish for. Simple, yes - but sometimes simple can be best.

As the boys chatted away about boyish things, Risa busied herself by fixing up some drinks for them. Prehaps she did feel... just a little left out, she wasn't sure. But her own world just felt so lonely as she stood there, by the kettle, waiting for the water inside it to boil. Actually, she had felt lonely for a long time. Risa just wasn't ready to get into another relationship after what happened with her last one... 'Men always just let you down...' she would tell herself every night as she lay alone in bed. 'And my studies will go downhill too, should I desire any one guy again like I have...'

She brought the drinks in and the boys both looked over at her. With a tilt of her head and a feint smile, she set the cups of coffee down on the table. "There we are, boys! Hope you enjoy and all that..."

"So when are we going to have the party? Who else are you inviting...?" Satoshi asked Daisuke, with just a small nod of thanks to Risa for her efforts.

"Oh. It's at six. I'm inviting Takeshi, Masahiro, Ritsuko and of course Riku. I just hope mom gets back from her trip late so that I can have it over with without her noticing... there aren't many people coming... so it should really be okay anyway."

"Listen, guys. I didn't come here to listen to you two talk. If you don't mind, I'm going home to do my homework. I'll see you at school tomorow!" Risa said. She got up, but Satoshi put an arm around her waist and pulled her down next to him which made her jump a little.

"No you wont. If you go, who else is supposed to make us drinks?" Satoshi asked. Risa flushed with anger at this and folded her arms, stubbornly. "Don't give me that, Harada-san."

"What? If I ever gave you anything, I'd have to first poison it, or spit on it!" She hissed, now beggining to hate his company entirely. "Putting your arm around my waist like that!! You have grown up into a... a very rude young man indeed!"

"You're not the most well brought up woman in the world either!!" He grunted, leaning back on the sofa. "In fact, you're even worse than your sister, and she has never had good manners," This turned Daisuke against him a little too.

"D-don't say things like that, Hiwatari-kun..." Daisuke said to defend his girlfriend. "I love Riku, and I wont stand idle whilst someone insults her... even if he's my best friend, I wont. Riku is more important to me than both of you put togeth--" He suddenly stopped and covered his mouth. Now he'd turned both of them against him too without meaning to. This lead to another very long silence between the three newly found enemies. The reunion was going terribly to say the least, though as always, it was up to Daisuke to try to shed a little light on the situation with the re-assuring sound of his soft, gentle voice. "Satoshi. Miss Risa. Why don't we play a game...?"

"I hate games, they are utterly pointless..." Satoshi sighed.

"You are so boring, Hiwatari-kun..." Risa mumbled as a tease. "What game?"

"Hide and seek. You two have to hide, and after thirty seconds, I shall come to find you!" Daisuke instructed, playfully. Normally, this would be a very childish game but Daisuke considered it fitting because they were both acting childish - they may as well put their need to be immature into something less harmful and more friendly.

"How stupid..." Satoshi said, half to himself.

"Well, I'm going to start counting. One. Two. Three..."

Satoshi and Risa sprang to their feet and ran out of the room. Once Risa noticed that Satoshi was joining in, she giggled a little. _He just can't stand losing to me, can he? That silly boy... must he be so competative? _Hey! I was going to hide in this area!!" Risa moaned, once she found Satoshi searching the hall for a hiding place.

"This house is too spacey - there is only one place I can hide, Harada-san..." Satoshi told her in a cold voice as he reached for the basement door below him. But Risa grabbed his wrist before he could turn the handle, shaking her head.

"If it's the only place to hide, then it's mine. My hiding spot. Ladies first, remember?" Risa growled, having had just about enough of the tone he always took with her.

"I found it..." Satoshi pointed out.

"Yes but I--"

They heard Daisuke calling; "Ready or not, here I come!" from the other room and they instinctively jumped into the basement together, Risa slamming the trap door behind them. But once Satoshi noticed that she had come in with him, he grabbed her arm and snapped rather selfishly; "This is my hiding place, get out, or I..." His voice tailed off once he discovered that the door was shut. Shut... and locked.

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**A/N: **Okay! My third SatoRisa fan-series! -squee- I'd like to thank everyone who read this first part, and for your kind and honest opinions xx

Reviews always appreciated.


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